I don’t think I’ve seen so many animals in one place since that time at Dudley Zoo when I got my arse stuck in the chairlift.
We am so awash with our precious Punjabi jewels, that even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are casting an envious eye across the ocean.
There was no sex for us, but they do say it’s wrong to exercise on a full stomach.
You could bring your special wench or chap to this cosy corner and hold hands, with nothing but the ‘it’s always Christmas here snowman’ as gooseberry.
I threw caution to the wind and opted for the homemade sausage roll.